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Women love romance. You only have to peruse the shelves at Barnes and Noble to see the evidence. Considering that about 70% of books published don’t make a profit, publishers are very discerning about what they invest in…and romantic fiction is still thriving. The same is true for movies having a strong romantic component.

There is such an emotional connection as we follow a story of people finding their way to each other and ending up in a life-long love affair. Think of The Notebook. A young couple so obviously meant to be together, but complications break them up until they find their way back. We see the passion of youth and infatuation, the grief of separation and the abiding spirit of honest, selfless commitment. Even the painful parts are sweet and lovely.

Unfortunately life doesn’t typically follow the story line of a novel or the scripting of a movie. While real women have romantic relationships and marriages that likely include the stages of blind adoration, a smidge of discord and (hopefully) long-term commitment, there is also life outside the frame of the screen.

We battle our self-image issues, strive to stay fit and attractive, seek to find relevance, worry about our children, care for ill or aging loved ones, squeak out financial provision…all the while deeply desiring the absolute love of one man. We want him to tell us we’re beautiful…and make us believe he really thinks so. We want him to point out the ways we are significant, to reassure us about our children, to partner with us as we care for others and to work as hard as we do to provide.

That’s the way we’re wired and it’s no mistake because all those things are according to God’s model for romance and marriage. But in order to achieve this picture-perfect design, there is one major requirement: Two people who are willing to hold up their end of the equation. Many women don’t get that. They want the fabulous leading man but don’t see that instead of being the leading lady, they’re the lazy, sarcastic, self-absorbed side-kick. Or maybe they have good hearts but aren’t really putting in the time and energy it takes to keep their end of the teeter-totter off the ground.

We can’t expect to be regarded as a princess if we act like a commoner. As daughters of the King, our first priority should be to make sure our lives reflect the character of our Father. If so, we’re worthy of (and will attract) a man who wants to treat us accordingly.

Perhaps you are holding up your end but the guy at the other end is slacking. You’re the living definition of a wonderful woman but he takes you for granted, doesn’t help out and seldom seems to offer praise or compliments. If you’re not married to him, think about losing the dead weight and focusing on becoming the best you can be, trusting God to intersect your path with the right man as you walk on. If you are married, well–I suggest you touch base with a good counselor or coach to help you find equilibrium in your relationship, then perhaps the romance will emerge. Consider reading Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas and The Man Whisperer by Rick Johnson.

Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship do you feel that you’re lacking romance? Why is it important? What can you do today to add a little pizzazz to your life today? Please share opinions and pass this post on to encourage others.

Diane Markins

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Diane Markins

Host of Bold Living with Diane Markins on in Phoenix. Her latest book, Women in High Def, Boldly Living Your Purposes with Vibrant Clarity is a best seller on Amazon's Kindle. Diane writes and speaks in a gritty "high def, authentic style" about issues that impact daily living. She aspires to reflect the love of God as a wife, mom, businesswoman, speaker and writer. Married to her high school sweetheart in 1979, Diane is also the mother of two grown kids, a daughter-in-law, three grandbabies. Her life is also shared with two dogs and a cat. Family fun, travel and outdoor activities capture her free time.

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