The following piece brought a lot of inspiration to me so I asked leadership coach Jerome Daley if I could share it here. Hope you can relate as much as I did…and don’t feel bad if you’ve been a whiner lately.
Diane Markins
I need to warn you–I’m not an amateur. No, this is a professional complainer you’re talking to! (Kids, don’t try this at home.)It was a couple weeks ago, and what a week we were having. Kellie and I were putting in about 20 hours apiece preparing for a family wedding…on top of my work and in addition to having house guests. It was all good–wonderful, even–but it was a lot. That’s when the slide started…
The refrigerator had leaked and started to warp the wood floors the prior week. On Monday, Kellie’s cell phone died. On Tuesday, the dishwasher broke. On Wednesday, we learned that the cat had cancer. By Thursday, I was making new additions to my mental manual of expletives.
When I shared some of my “professional” complaining in our house church that week, one in the group pointed out that Graham Cooke says that “Why?” is a victim question.
Hmm… OK, I can see that possibility. But let me venture a defense for King David in this regard (and myself, of course). We all hit places of disappointment and loss–places where, in our humanity, we feel let down, abandoned even. In that moment, the authentic cry of our hearts is, Why God? And to squelch that cry is to shut down our hearts and truncate authentic relationship with God. Folks, God is a “big boy”–He can take it!
But here’s the crux–an authentic Why leads us into intimacy with God and into His expansive character and purposes. Why must be a transition point; if we live in the Why and get stuck there, then we begin to own the identity of a victim.
Think about it. Every living soul has been a victim. We are victimized by our spiritual enemy, we are victimized by other people, and we victimize ourselves. It’s real. I would contend that it’s not wrong to acknowledge victimization–that this is actually part of the healing process. It’s when victimization becomes part of our self-concept, our identity, then it turns rancid and self-destructive.
§ How do you relate to being victimized? Is it part of your reality or part of your mentality?
§ Are there any changes you want to make in this area?
§ How and when will you make a change?
Jerome Daley, ACC, DPM, is a Leadership Coach, author of five books on purposeful living, and publisher of the Christian Coaching Magazine.
Share your whining and thoughts on complaining to God below. Contact Jerome at www.purposecoach.net and www.christiancoachingmag.com.
This blog is very eye opening in many ways. I have never thought of asking God why things are the way they are, as a way of worshiping. I have always catagorized asking God Why? as a way of blaming him for allowing negative things to happen to us; so, in turn, I have refrained from asking him this question. This blog has shown me that God has made us a people who question and that it is ok for me to ask him Why as long as I dont live in that mind frame of “Pour me”. God desires intamacy with us, and by asking God Why? many times our eyes are opened to more of an understanding of who God is.
Somtimes I think that is all I do. My life as a drunk (20 years ago) was very much whiner and blamer. Deep down I wish not to be negative, or seem ungrateful for everything God has given me. The opportunities have been there , along side the parylizing fear of making mistakes. The inability to recogonise wisdom over fear…
After experiencing the pain and sometimes deep loss of others on hundreds of rescue calls. I learned early on in my firefighting career that the mishaps and stress incidents in my own life are very trivial. Whining about one’s problems is human nature. However, the next time you catch youself being stressed out, remember the many reason that some hospitals are called childrens hospitals. One’s personal view of life must be more than how you how you look at yourself.
God is great. I often look at other people and wonder why do they seem to get and have all the things I have to struggle for. I would question that fact all the time to God and then feel guilty. This has helped me. I see that I am human just as God has made me. Thanks for helping me to see that.